well. you wouldnt think it would be so bad.. my last year at keuka. finally. doin whatev. in a single.

this is a bad year. my first night back to school my grandpa died. really sad.. regardless of the fact that we werent super close to him. and i had to miss the funeral.

xc has been stressin me out. i’ve tried to quit twice already.. however both times i failed.

and now my doggy is dying. tonight is her last night. tomorrow she will go see the vet for the last time ever. and not come back. :’( shes like 14 years old. and shes been a really good puppy. my daddys little baby. however, she had her fair share of hard times.. bladder stones, bad joints, a mole ((it was hideous.)), and really bad breast cancer. poor puppy. i was just sitting there petting her tonight. trying my hardest not to cry.. cuz she hates that.. whenever i cry when im petting her she gets up and walks away.. and she had to try so hard. and so many times just to sit up. and walk around. and then its hard for her to sit back down and she cant stand up right. and i just feel so bad for her. and i really wish the solution wasnt for her to be put to sleep. im really not ok with it. a lot because i love her. and im gonna miss her. and its just really sad. but also a lot because i know its gonna break my parents hearts into pieces. and i cant deal with that. that makes me really really sad. its gonna be so weird without her. 14 years is a long time. and i personally dont wanna know what its gonna be like without her.

and so i will be depressed about it for a while. and i will cry a lot. for many days. i just hope she knows i love her.. and that i loved her even when she had her mole<3

i have modified the lyrics to a very sad country song. and i am currently using it as an away message.. i will post below..

You can let go now, Destiny
You can let go
Oh, we think we’re ready
To do this on our own
It still feels a little bit scary
But we want you to know
We’ll be ok now, Destiny
You can let go